For many veterans, the bonds forged in the crucible of military service are among the most profound and enduring relationships of their lives. These connections, born out of shared sacrifice, hardship, and danger, often transcend the typical boundaries of friendship. But what happens when those bonds are tested by the realities of post-service life, mental health struggles, and diverging life paths?
This is the story of a Canadian veteran, who recently shared his experiences online. Alongside his closest friend and brother-in-arms, he served in the French Foreign Legion, a unit renowned for its grueling standards and unwavering camaraderie. Their friendship began in training, when a twist of fate—and a twisted ankle—brought them together.
During a punishing ruck run, the author twisted his ankle, and his friend carried him to the finish line. In return, the author, fluent in French, helped his buddy, who struggled with the Legion’s language requirements, by providing lessons and translations. Their bond deepened over time, particularly during a harrowing tour in Mali.
Faced with relentless enemy fire from AQIM insurgents, the author and his comrades risked their lives to drag his friend to safety after he was shot in the femur. They held off enemy forces for nearly an hour until air support arrived. Despite their efforts, the injury led to his friend’s medical discharge, leaving him with a permanent limp.
The author was also medically discharged a year later, due to recurring lung infections. Upon returning to Canada, the two men rekindled their friendship, remaining close even as they faced new challenges in civilian life.
Since returning home, the author has rebuilt his life. He found a career in law enforcement, began therapy to address his PTSD, and is engaged to a woman he describes as the best thing that’s ever happened to him. His friend, however, has struggled with untreated PTSD, turning to alcohol and marijuana as coping mechanisms. These behaviors have occasionally escalated into reckless actions, such as bar fights and smoking in non-smoking areas.
The author’s fiancée, while supportive, has expressed concern about the toll this friendship takes on their life together. She believes his friend’s actions could jeopardize their future, a concern that deepened after a recent crisis.
The situation reached a critical point when the friend called late at night, expressing delusional thoughts about religion and a divine mission to save the UK. Alarmed by his friend’s calm yet detached demeanor, the author acted swiftly. While his fiancée called the police for a wellness check, the author stayed on the phone with his friend until authorities arrived.
His friend was hospitalized under the Mental Health Act, and though his mother thanked the author for potentially saving her son’s life, the friend has not reached out since his release. The author now grapples with guilt, fearing his intervention may have alienated his friend.
In response to the author’s story, fellow veterans offered valuable insights. One cited Article 7 of the Code d’honneur du légionnaire, which states:
“Au combat, tu agis sans passion et sans haine, tu respectes les ennemis vaincus, tu n’abandonnes jamais ni tes morts, ni tes blessés, ni tes armes.”
“In combat, you act without passion and without hatred, you respect defeated enemies, you never abandon your dead, your wounded, or your weapons.”
Dealing with PTSD, the commenter explained, is a battle in its own right. They likened the Legion’s ethos to a similar saying in the U.S. Army Rangers: “Never Leave a Fallen Comrade.” They advised the author to explain to his fiancée that, despite his friend’s struggles, his efforts were aimed at preventing a tragedy. They added, “When he is ready, he will seek help for the PTSD, and the pot and drinking will stop.”
Another veteran urged a balanced approach:
“Take care of yourself and your future first. You deserve it and have worked hard for it. But perhaps change the style of your contact with your frère d’arme for a little while. Don’t enable him or his downward spiral, but force him to get help and guide him. All while talking to your fiancée so she understands and will be supportive instead of letting resentment build up. Have the long picture in hand—both you and him stable and living fulfilling lives.”
They also suggested reaching out to Aubagne, the Legion’s headquarters, to explore potential support from his friend’s former hierarchy, which might carry more weight in encouraging him to seek help.
If anyone wants to offer their advice on what he should do, they can comment on his Reddit thread below.
My fiancé wants me to cut contact with my brother in arms.
byu/ThrowRA137904 inMilitary
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